Stuck on you

So every time I use krazy glue, I glue my fingers together.

I don't do it on purpose; in fact, since I've noticed that it happens every time I use krazy glue, I have made an honest effort to keep my fingers from touching each other during the gluing process. But invariably, as the saying goes, the right hand does not know what the left one is doing, and when I am finished repairing the broken object, I smile with success at my one un-stuck hand until I look at the other one which now resembles the Vulcan salute.

I was repairing a Winnie the Pooh knickknack that has been in two pieces since I moved into the apartment almost two years ago. (Wow, I can't believe it's been that long…let's all take a moment….Sunrise, Sunset….okay.) And while I held the pieces together, I also glued my right index and middle fingers together. So I grabbed the tube of glue with my left and read the package to see how to un-stick my fingers. The tube said acetone (nail polish remover) or hot water. Ironically, I had just been shopping for nail polish remover at Marc's where deep discount prices rule ($3.29 bottle of wine, Matthew Fox label). After about fifteen minutes searching for the cosmetic section (of course, it's next to the wife-beater undershirts). Lots of cotton balls, but no nail polish remover. Little did I know I would need it later.

So I filled a bowl with hot water and put my hand in it. And yes, the practical joke works—placing your hand in hot water makes you have to pee, urgently. So I had to go to the bathroom. And of course I'm wearing ridiculously complicated pants, with only one hand available to do anything. In my panic I did manage to rip my two fingers on my right hand apart.

I'm still picking pieces of glue off my fingers.