Biggest Pain in my Butt

So I'm on a conference call the other day and it is really, really boring. Like soul-crushingly boring. I tried to put my feet up on my desk but the desk is too high (my office mate says my legs are too short, but I prefer to blame the inanimate object rather than genetics). I finally got my feet perched near the edge when I suddenly feel the chair slipping out from under me. I scrambled to catch a hold of something and end up grabbing the phone as I plummet to the floor. I land in a "V" and manage to bring the entire phone down on my head. The only saving grace to all of this was that the mute button remained fully functional during the whole episode.

It now hurts to sit, stand and walk. I am so graceful.