Try not to think where it came from

So I just received in the mail from Delia's (a.k.a. clothes for 12-year-old stick insects) a pair of mittens with gloves hidden underneath the mitten flap! They are creamy white with gold flecks and are much more convenient than my Muppet gloves for dialing cell phones and operating door keys and car keys. I feel like such a Bohemian, homeless-because-I'm-an-artist type person with them on (although they make my already child-like hands look like little cocktail wienies (minus the red sauce)). However, my joy at receiving something in the mail (I really do feel like they are presents because usually I have forgotten that I ordered something) was quickly stiffled when I ripped open the package. There, on top of my virgin white gloves, was a little black curly hair.

I'm going to pretend that some sort of shaggy little black puppy named Buttons was Inspector #24 and that's where the hair came from.