I get knocked down, but I get up again; OR One tequila two tequlia three tequila FLOOR

So I went to my adorable friends' engagement party. And there just happened to be a Guy there that I have a Crush On. So of course I was dressed up. And of course I drank way too much. The evening went quite smoothly for awhile. And then: it happened.

The bar we were at has these little cylindrical stools that I call "tuffets". I went to talk to this Guy and I don't know if slipped on my slippery skirt or if my giant ass just has so much momentum going into the chair or what, but as I went to sit down my entire body continued on to the floor. I also somehow took out a table on the way down. Like Bridget Jones and the fireman's pole, I keep replaying the image of me flying through the air and onto the ground. And it all happened in front of Him. The worst part: when I got up, I looked around and there was a sea of faces just staring back at me NOT LAUGHING, including Him. They all had this look on their faces of pity and disdain. Words cannot express how humiliated I was and am. I had been doing so well with Him, too. I was chatting and flirting and blah blah blah, and then I took a tumble off a tuffet.

Damn it.

Editors note: This was the original post, which Oola created as soon as she got my drunk ass home from the bar. It's too entertaining not to keep up.
So I really, really like this friend of my dear friend Andy (I am so fuckig wasted as I tyape this, so if therea are any misprints, I appoligize to all two fo my fathful fuviewers.)

sO ANYWHAY, this man....I realy,r alyye like thim. howeve, thifs evening. I managedto fall off of my seat while I was in his presense. I brokke three glasses.

I am a FUCKING MORON. Who wants a ungracrful hippo? ::sigh::