Here comes the bride

So I think this story is a good example of my attitude towards weddings.

I was at the wedding of my friends from college Jon and Hallie. Gorgeous wedding, gorgeous couple, etc., etc. I am there (of course) with a gay man because that's just how I roll. The food was good, company excellent, the music was fun, but then came the part that all single women HATE at weddings.....the bouquet toss. I had not planned to go up: I didn't know anyone besides the bride and groom and since I was not family I was not required to participate in the sardonic ritual. But my darling friend René was also a bridesmaid, and she dragged me out to the dance floor with a dozen little 14 year-old cousins of the happy couple. Right before the toss, René looked at me and said "Jessica, you know you're going to get the bouquet." "I'm not even going to try." I replied.

When the bride tossed the bouquet it made a bee-line for my head. In an effort not to get clocked in the head by orchids, I instinctively put my hands up to protect my face. In the confusion, I somehow ended up holding the bouquet.

I apologize in advance if the wedding video shows me mouthing the words "Oh, fuck."