"I, state your name....."

So the State of Ohio decided I was fit to practice law. Since last week, I have been looking over my shoulder for a guy in a black robe and barristers wig who will tell me that, sorry, they changed their mind, I am not allowed to be an attorney, and that I should look for work in the food service industry or human resources.

I had a dream to that effect the night before I was sworn in. I was walking through a courtroom and was approaching the little swinging gate between the gallery and the space in front of the bench. I put my hand on the gate to push it open and it was stuck. Then I looked up and the judge from Ghostbusters II was there and he said something about having me “BURNED AT THE STAKE” and Peter MacNicol and the evil guy with the really big head escorted me out of the courtroom and out of the building and then when I looked back it was covered in pink goo. Besides infringing on any number of copyrights, I was convinced that this meant I was not going to get my license.

When we took our oath, I made sure I clearly annunciated every word, just to make sure it “took” on the first try.

Oh, and how is it that I can go through three years of law school and not know that Joe's middle name is Cosmo??