Diet coke break

So I can always tell what kind of day it is going to be by how early I need a Diet Coke. I know it is going to be a bad day when I am making my way to the soda machine at work before 10 am.

Today, I brought a bottle of Diet Coke to work.

I was late to work this morning because I had to request my transcripts from the University Registrar. I hate dealing with University bureaucrats. Its like my dad always says: Universities are the last bastion of waste. So a little before 8 am I found myself in the Registration queue in the brand new building they built the year my tuition went up 9%. A woman was sitting at her desk, smiling at me. I walked forward and began to sit down. "We open at 8," she barked, still smiling. I looked at my watch - it was 7:59 and the seconds hand was three-quarters of the way around. I looked back at the smiling woman, turned around, and walked back to my place in the queue. She smiled at me for another thirty seconds or so and then asked "Can I help you?" I told her I needed my transcripts. She smiled and said I could come back after I filled out this form. But hahaha! I already had filled out the form. Slightly ruffled, she asked if I wanted my transcript now or five days from now. Is this a trick question? Do I want my transcripts now or risk losing them to the ubiquitous black hole that is the University Registrar? I said now would be good and she said it would be $10. I reached into my bag for my checkbook and she said Oh no, you don't pay me, you need to go to the cashier, pointing to the desk next to hers. I stood up, moved the three feet between her desk and the cashiers, and sat down in front of an equally-smiley woman. I told her what I needed (even though she had heard everything smiley woman number 1 had said). I wrote her a check and sat back, waiting for my transcript.

But I was not done jumping through hoops. Smiley woman number 2 handed me a stack of papers and said you need to go to Room 120, past the windows, around the bend, over the river, and through the woods. I walked into Room 120 and entered the land of Weight Watchers. Nearly a dozen middle-aged cream puffs were hovering around a scale, waiting to get weighed (there was one Jack Sprat standing in a corner, looking as though he was very nervous that one of them might accidentally sit on him). Apparently they were trying to lose weight in teams; whichever team lost the most weight won a glazed donut or something, I didn't catch the reward. Twenty minutes later, one of them smiled at me and asked if I was waiting for something.

On the way to work, I stopped at a gas station. I have never been more happy to see a Diet Coke in my life.