Support for the well-endowed

So I went shopping with my sister the other day for a bra. I don't mind spending too much money on a bra; Oprah says you should spend between $50 and $1.1 million for proper support (she should know). So I went to Victoria's Secret. VS has not always been the BFF of C-DD. So I was a bit skeptical when the saleslady handed me a bra and sort of whispered"Oooooh, this is soooooo suppooooooortive." The bra was great, I'm not going to go into specifics there, but it was what happened afterwards that put a stink on future personal appearances at Victoria's Secret.

As I walked up to the cash register, the same saleslady with the sibilance raised her voice above a whisper and said "Noooo! Don't do that!" I looked around in horror to see whether I had run over a small child and was dragging her by my flip flops or I had snagged a bra on my trousers and was now pulling along the entire store's merchandise by my beltloop. Seeing nothing so alarming, I looked up and said "Don't do what?" as I placed my bra on the counter. "DON'T FOLD THE BRA!" she growled, grabbing the bra out of my hand and smoothing it out, petting it like it was a large white Persian cat. "You must always keep it flat or it will wrinkle," she purred more to the bra than to me. "Um, okay, but it's not going to be flat when I wear it." She didn't appreciate my irreverance. "Well, OBVIOUSLY. But you must keep it flat when you are not wearing it." I didn't want to argue with her, in case she might grab the container of thongs on the counter and use one to garrote me and any other witnesses and then fly into the night with my bra in her safe keeping. She started arranging the bra in pink tissue paper and then looked about for the bag. This presented a problem. The normal VS bag is small, about the same length as a Kleenex box. A bra is folded up nicely, tucked into the pink tissue paper, and slid into the small bag. But my bra HAD. TO. BE. KEPT. FLAT.

Her solution? The giant "I just purchased the entire VS line of bras, panties, underthings, jammies, hair products, make-up, and a stuffed dog to boot" bag:

This picture does not do it justice. I could have worn this bag as a minidress if I used the handles as straps and cut a hole in the bottom. I felt that I needed to explain to people as the gawked at the size of the bag in the mall "No, no, don't worry, my bra is not so ginormous that it needs a bag this big. You see, I can't fold my bra....."