The day after the day after a night out

So today was the day after the hangover; the day after the day after the night of gallons of adult beverages being quite literally poured down one's throat straight from the bottle. I should say that for the first half dozen martinis I at least made some effort at etiquette and went through the ritual of pouring the gin into a glass with a couple of olives. But for the last of the bottle, I stopped going through the motions and just walked around with the bottle as my "bessfriend." How drunk was I? Well, I can't quantify it in scientific terms, but let's just say I spent half the night wondering where my pants went when I finally realized about 10 o'clock the next morning that I had worn a dress that day....

Anyway, back to today. Today, the day after the day after. Today is the day when one can finally eat solid foods. As Bridget Jones once wrote, the best cure for a hangover is to eat anything in sight that might possibly make you feel better. In her case, it was:
2 packets Emmenthal cheese slices
1 quart freshly squeezed orange juice
1 cold baked potato
2 pieces unbaked lemon cheesecake
1 Milky Way
1 chocolate Viennoise dessert thing with cream on top
Steamed broccoli
4 cold frankfurters

In my case, the menu du jour was:
1 cranberry smoothie from Robeks
1 french onion soup from Panera
2 bags of kettle chips
1 bag of honey wheat pretzel stick thingys
1 Auntie Anne's Pretzel
2 fried chicken legs
1 frozen Snickers bar
7 Diet Cokes
1/2 can of green beans

Hmm. Seems to be missing something....something from the dairy group, perhaps? Maybe there are some cheese slices in the fridge....

Biggest Pain in my Butt

So I'm on a conference call the other day and it is really, really boring. Like soul-crushingly boring. I tried to put my feet up on my desk but the desk is too high (my office mate says my legs are too short, but I prefer to blame the inanimate object rather than genetics). I finally got my feet perched near the edge when I suddenly feel the chair slipping out from under me. I scrambled to catch a hold of something and end up grabbing the phone as I plummet to the floor. I land in a "V" and manage to bring the entire phone down on my head. The only saving grace to all of this was that the mute button remained fully functional during the whole episode.

It now hurts to sit, stand and walk. I am so graceful.